Purgatory

I have never worked for something so hard in my entire life.

As the title suggests, I find myself in purgatory. I can’t believe it; this could be the end of an era. I keep mentioning how great my friends are. They are my family… the best thing I have… the best things I had. They always will be, but now everything is different. Who knows what the final judgment will be? Time will tell. All I know is that I can’t get my hopes up. I’ve heard that so many times in the last few months, but this time is the one time I wish I could hope. This should’ve been something I had a greater power over.

This quarter has been one challenge after another. I feel like I’ve been tested to my limit. For what? For me to prove myself again and again, to only fail in the end. I’m going to fucking explode. Just let me - What is this life? Get me out. Merry effing Christmas. Can I ask for prayers for me and Laura? For all of us who worked so hard? Who did our absolute best?

Now I need sleep.